Conflict with my son's friends' mom....Ugh!

[milhasavilla]

Ok, this is waaaaay off topic, but I need some input. My son's best friend's b/day is this week and I recently found out his mom is having his b/day party at Hooter's. I am not impressed at all and want to say NO WAY is my son going...But I'm trying to stay open minded and not completely over protective.

I talked with my son's friends' mom and she thinks I'm being ridiculous and that I'm ruining it for her son. He apparently has his whole 10 year old heart set on this Hooter's b/day party...The whole guilt trip has been difficult, but now my son feels like all the rest of the boys (and the best friend) are going to be mad at him becuase his mom is being so lame. He's almost 13 and at such an awkward stage - am I making things worse for him? I really don't think Hooter's is appropriate for kids, and a b/day party at that. But I also know I need to pick the battles carefully...Is this a battle worth picking? Am I really being ridiculous? Aaaaahhhhh - help!

[eli]

(giggle) I thought for sure yo were going to say they were 17.
I'm so far out of the loop!!

I don't know. I'd make my decision on how mature he is/they are.
10 year olds today aren't the 10 year olds of my day- in the seventies.

I was extremely protective of my daughter- or so I thought- & my husband not as much so.....but as she got into her teens we just laid down the facts & let her make many decisions that my folks would have never given me the reins to. She's turned out to be quite a girl if I do say so myself.

Remember tho, you're not his friend you're Mom.

Erica

[redbird]

SORRY

I think that it is TOTALLY inaproptiate to send a child to a sportsbar full of
large busted women in tight ts and short shorts. TOTALLY.
wrong message, wrong wrong wrong.

I would not think they would even allow minors in a place like that.
Are you sure? YOu are talking about the sportsbar called HOOTERS,
right? As in over 18 in most states?

I don't think I am small minded I think I am SANE.

[lbboop99]

Wow! I think I've heard it all now!! What a place to pick for a kid's birthday party. Whatever happened to the bowling alley??!! I don't blame you one bit for not wanting him to go. I do agree that you have to pick your battles though. I suppose there is no real harm in letting him go. But I don't know if I would let him go if he were my son. I can't believe a parent would put other parents in this situation.

[astrordog]

hooter's reply

I totally agree with Red Bird. I think it is "soft" porn. I have a daughter, she is grown now, but she stated one time how she wouldn't ever work at Hooters. Putting your body out there to be oogled at.
Parents need to look up the word "parenting"..


astrordog

[barepaws]

OK Everyone don't hit me, LOL This is just my view, its worth what it cost.

Hooters is a restaurant not a sports bar. They do have a full menu and the bar is placed just like at applebee' or somewhere like that. The girls are dressed in short shorts, but if you remember the 70's you remember we use to wear those same type of shorts to school! Most kids see more at their school with the styles the girls wear. I have been for every Super Bowl and have never felt offended. The one here has a vollyball court outside and is set up like you are at the beach. It is actually a fun, beach-side type place. I see kids there every time I've been there. Are the girls big-breasted? Yes. Can you see anything, No. They have awsome hot-wings. If you question it go for lunch, make an informed decision not one based on hear-say.

OK I'm running for cover.......................

[goldiphlox]

Completely Inappropriate

there are sooo many nice appropriate places to have a birthday party for a kid. why the heck would she pick Hooter's. that's just ridiculous. i think it's going to have to be up to you. i mean, he'll live through it. might even put a big smile on his face!( sorry, i have 2 boys) but it is definitely a bad choice. what's the matter with that woman. you should wait till you have a whole bunch of replies and then print this thread out and show her that you're not the only one that thinks this was a bad choice.

[milhasavilla]

I think that it is TOTALLY inaproptiate to send a child to a sportsbar full of
large busted women in tight ts and short shorts. TOTALLY.
wrong message, wrong wrong wrong.

I would not think they would even allow minors in a place like that.
Are you sure? YOu are talking about the sportsbar called HOOTERS,
right? As in over 18 in most states?

I don't think I am small minded I think I am SANE.

Apparently it's the rave around here for the boys' b/day parties. Yup - it's the sportsbar HOOTERS. There's no age restrictions that I am aware of - other mom's have already called to say their boys have went to and it was no big deal. That would be very nice and convenient if there were age restrictions. Then I wouldn't have to be the lame mom that's saying no.

[stacie-gotg]

I agree with Redbird. I question the morality of a mother of a young child to have a party at a place where alcohol is served and plenty of woman busting out all over. Friends come and go. You are mom. If even question your questions about this, is there any way you can speek to the other childrens parents as to why they will allow their child to go to a place like this. I have never been to Hooters and never will. I will never allow my David in there untill he is 18. Not only would he see plenty but the language in that place by the other patrons might not be what you want your son hearing. People let things slip out when the brew is flowing and busty woman are all over. Send a gift to the kid.

[wet noze]

That is SICK and WRONG!!!
No freakin way would I let my kid go to a birthday party at Hooters.
End of subject.

Now I've heard it all.

[drubaby]

I've been to a couple Hooters myself and I am a woman. It's really not what you think it is. After I went the first time, I had a totally different view on it. It is a sports bar yeah, but the outfits aren't as slutty or skimpy as you're thinking they are. Also, the girls aren't nearly as well endowed as you're thinking. It's no strip club. If your uncomfortable with the situation, then that's your decision.

[Poodlefluff]

Well I don't have boys but I do take both my girls to Hooters because I love their wings. But if it were a restaurant full of guys in cutoffs and tanks with huge ripping muscles. I guess that would even the scores. It is a family restaurant though. So I take my girls. But a kid having a Hooter's Birthday Party is a little out of line. Maybe the kid loves the wings too but I doubt that is his main attraction.
I would not allow my child to be friends with another child who's morals were not the same as my childs. So if you feel that your son would be tempted or uncomfortable in this situation to behave inappropriately then don't allow him to go. You are his parent and you should raise him and teach him his values, not his friends mom. Sometimes as parents we have to make decisions for our kids that they won't like ~but later when they are an upstanding citizen, a good husband, wife, they will be glad we didn't let them run amuck in Hooters objectifying women. So the question is what kind of man do you want to raise your child into. One who objectifies women or one who is a gentleman that respects women.

[nicshred]

First I will say If you dont feel comfortable then he doesnt go. That is just a basic idea I live by daily... Now would I permit my son at that age to go....maybe....depending on how well I know the other parents and I would want some parents there also. One thing I have always taught my son is to respect others . I would probably allow him to go because I am aware even at that age he would of behaved appropriately, if the others in the party got out of line...he would immediately want to leave and or call me to pick him up, though I would probably also attend. I may even in that situation say sure WE are going to the party. then you would have no worries.

My son is now 20 but when he was 10 he went to many parties ...even that many years ago parents gave strange parties...some of which I did not permit my son to attend. The big one that i refused to allow him to attend was at a paintball place, I just felt kids shooting each other with balls of paint at that age was a bit risky in my idea.

Like others have said , you decide what you are comfortable with and make the decision. My son grew up within the communist world of dictatorship..hehehe...and I was the dictator. What I said was the rule and there was not alot of ways to get out of directions given ...But that was just me ....oh well.

Trish

[Helly]

There are lots of sports bars I wouldn't allow my kids to go to, if they were still kids. But there are plenty of sports bars I did take them to, no problems. I even took them to a gay bar to watch a theater group put on a Christmas show. And no, it wasn't a drag show.

I'd suggest taking a little trip to Hooters first, and check it out for yourself. It probably is not what you think it is. It's also probably not what your son thinks it is, either.

And if you decide to let him go, why not go too? Offer to take him, not send him. Ask the other moms if they'd like to accompany you, get a seperate table, and enjoy the wings. If anyone's behavior goes over the line, you can excuse yourself and take him home. And it will give you the opportunity to open a frank discussion on whatever issues you think he needs to have discussed.

[Boxerfan]

My oldest is only 8 but there's no way I would allow my kids to go to Hooters for a party. Why do we have to be the 'bad guy' when we have standards and morals? Your kid may actually respect you more (someday) for sticking up for your beliefs instead of always going with the crowd.