No announcement yet.

I Came acroos This List I Have Had A Long Time.Had

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • I Came acroos This List I Have Had A Long Time.Had

    I found this tucked away in a book . I think it is good for us to review this now and again. I will try to list with spaces between each number.
    It Is Never Our Responsibility To:
    1. Give what you really don't want to give.
    2.Sacrifice your integrity to anyone
    3. Do more than you have TIME to do(This is a big one for many of you)
    4. Drain your strength for others
    5. Listen to unwise council
    6.Retain an unfair relationship
    7 Be anyone but exactly who you are
    8. Conform to unreasonable Demands
    9. Be 100% perfect
    10. Follow The Crowd
    11 Put Up With Unpleasant Situations
    12. Please Unpleasant People (Clients)
    13. Bear The Burden Of Anothers' Misbehavior
    14. Do Something You Can Not really DO

    16. Endure Your Own Negative Thoughts
    17. Feel Guilty For Having Your Dreams-Goals
    18. Submit To Overbearing Conditions
    19. Apologize For Being Yourself
    20. Meekly Let Life pass You By
    21. Apologize Or Be Embarrassed For Being A Dog Groomer (I Added This One)We Need To Read This Daily And Put It Up Where We Can See It.
    Last edited by mustluvdogs1; 04-16-07, 01:50 AM. Reason: Too much controversy.

  • #2
    Thank you so much for posting this. I was actually in tears by the end of the list. I've been feeling so overwhelmed lately, and working too many days and hours that I'm almost to the point of exhaustion. I've fallen into the trap of thinking many of the items on the list are my responsibility. I have to make a conscious effort to change so that I do have a happy balance between my business and my personal life (personal life? I haven't seen that in a while)
    don't find yourself up a creek without a poodle.


    • #3
      Interesting list, but I disagree with a few points. Especially #15. Unlovable people usually need to be loved more than anyone else.

      And, if you happen to be a Christian, and if you happen to ask God to teach you to love, you can bet your next paycheck, He's going to plop an exceedingly unlovable person into your life, and tell you "When you can love this person, you'll truly know what love is."


      • #4
        Helly, I don't understand what you mean.

        I think I got the list a long time ago from a co-dependant class named Crossroads. I didn't make it up, except for the one about groomers. You are right except, 15 says Love unlovable people. It did'nt go into specifics about loving them more! I invited my sis and her rude 12, at the time, daughter to live with us when she was down and out. It was the hardest time of my life because I had just learned of having B. Cancer. I have opened my heart and life to her to no avail. I guess if you asked the relatives they would say she is manipulative and unlovable. The list might be from a book called Boundries. Some people can be toxic, so you have to keep your distance. I think unlovable here refers to less than desirable clients one could do without.I like and respect you Helly, but if I replied with the acusatory (Religious) statement you just challanged me with...Stephen would zap me off this forum so fast, my head would swim.!I never directly refer to my religious or political beliefs. I do have core values An Intentional life.that are old fashioned to some. I also believe I live a purpose driven life.There was a #1 best seller with that title. It is a great book.If you target me with the C word, I wear it as a badge of honor.I still like you Helly, and for what it is worth, I hope you like me too. I may even get to meet you at some groom expo some day!!!Know that after readng some recent posts, I felt this would be helpful to a few unappreciated groomers who are employees. Or any groomers here.I do not see it in a religious catagory, and wonder how you did? I always try to be caring and helpful and respectful of my fellow groomers here. i admire all of you for your hard work and honesty.I think of you all often and worry about some of you too.I think about things many personal, things you guys say, and I care. You are becoming family to me in a way.
        Last edited by mustluvdogs1; 04-15-07, 07:52 PM.


        • #5
          agree or disagree it doesnt really matter. never be ashamed to say you're a christian though mustluvs!!! others have their signatures on here proclaiming their faith...its all about being yourself. Just take it with a grain of salt. and not so personal. I don't believe that was the intent. However, with me, I agree on all points and have learned some of those lessons the hard way. being a giver and a compassionate person myself, I've had to learn to stay clear of people that will take advantage of me and use me like a credit card. they are not worthy. I call them wolves in sheeps clothing! LOL you should surround yourself with good people and give them the best gift, friendship!! hugs to all ya'll!!


          • #6
            I think you misunderstand my point. Loving, being compassionate, does not mean laying down and letting people walk all over you. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is say "No." You don't need to let people take advantage of you or drain you finacially and emotionally, but you also don't have to let them make you less compassionate and loving.

            Those people we find unlovable are damaged goods. If we find them difficult and unlovable, think of how they find themselves. They are very unhappy, wounded souls. Many suffer from mental illness or personality disorders.

            Whether one has religious convictions or simply a personal code of ethics, I believe you get what you give. If I don't offer compassion and a loving attitude to those people who are most unlovable, I should not expect to recieve compassion and love when I am being most unlovable. And we all have times when we are most unlovable.


            • #7
              I am still a compassionate person and still very much a giving person, but no you don't always get what you give. If that were the case there would be alot more money in my account now! and alot more happy people that weren't "taken". no matter what excuse they may have(disorders or whatever) if they don't love themselves, they can not love others. I believe they would be classified as "unloveables"


              • #8
                Hairdevil, you are an angel to me.

                Thank you for your "just your style "comments. You always seem to get right to the heart of the matter and strip away all the unnecessary junk. You are very insightful and honest. I like that. You always see the positive clear side of things. Thanks again for your support. I agree with what you said. I do still have problems as a people pleaser. I don't seek approval as much as when I was younger. My convictions are stedfast, and I will never compromise my values or purpose driven convictions. I think Hitler loved himself and also Saddam Housane ( I called him S. Insane) They were the exception. Most unlovable top of the list non-human people ever.All those bad guys USA has trouble with.


                • #9
                  A nice list;a good reminder for e-one,groomer or not.Just be sure to keep the pink glasses in check!


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by hairdevil View Post
                    I am still a compassionate person and still very much a giving person, but no you don't always get what you give. If that were the case there would be alot more money in my account now! and alot more happy people that weren't "taken". no matter what excuse they may have(disorders or whatever) if they don't love themselves, they can not love others. I believe they would be classified as "unloveables"
                    Your life is not over yet, and you have no way of knowing what will come back to you before it is. And what you give in material things may come back to you in other ways.

                    I never loan anyone money. I always view it as a gift, and I tell the recipient it's a gift. Do I get that money back? Rarely. Sometimes what money I've given as gifts comes back to me from someone else, and sometimes what I've given comes back to me in a totally different form.

                    Giving, no matter what you give, is a way of blessing someone else. And that's really where you get what you give. No matter what you chose to call it, giving, blessing, good karma, if you give it, someday you get it back, somehow, someway, from someone.

                    And when it comes to people who are so damaged they cannot even love themselves, do they not need the blessing of being loved even more than those who can love themselves? Do you realize how powerful the effect of saying "I love you, imperfections and all" can have on a person?


                    • #11
                      you can not help a person if they don't want to help themselves. I am not a doormat, nor was I put here to make someone else's life easier(although I have) I have many blessings that God has given me. I do not look to people for much of anything. People will come and go in your life, some good, some bad..I just keep on going, doing the best I can...and watch where I step! lol


                      • #12
                        I, too, think it is important to love unloveable people. It's hard, but I try. They are the ones that need it most.

                        I don't think Helly said anything rude about Christians, and in all the years I've been on these boards, I've never seen something like that fly out of her mouth, that would surprise me. And yes you can say things "Christian" on here, you just can't tout religion on here and think that everybody believes the same way, because they don't. Nothing wrong with being Christian, the only thing wrong is when we Christians don't treat others very "Christ-like".

                        Stephen mentioned once that a "Christian" (notice I put it in quotes) wanted to advertise on here, she wanted to groom the dogs only of other Christians. To many people, including myself, that is a deplorable example of Christianity.

                        'Nough said about that.

                        Great list, good points.

                        Tammy in Utah
                        Groomers Helper Affiliate