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  • mobile depression

    I hate to ask this, but it would help to hear from other mobiles...do any of you suffer from depression? I had to be out 3 months for a cracked bone in my hand, lost my baby girl dog of 16 years, Significant other left after 4 years, not to mention a disagreement with my best friend from grooming school to whom I loaned a significant amount of money and although I did offer for months over a year to lower her payments, she would ask every month to pay x amount instead of xx amount agreed upon at the start, then denied xx amount was ever agreed upon, blamed me for being up and down. I never bothered to tell her all that was going on at the time, felt she was counting on me understanding every month..You don't have to say, I'll never loan again, but now I've reopened, some clients returned, some did not. I did not put on my answering machine exact illness, but stated I was closed due to orthopedic illness. I put my foot down on the loan, but she wrote a nasty letter, so I answered agreeing with her suggestion we don't need to be in contact after loan is paid. Sad, we had been friends (I thought) for 15 -1 6 years. I've never remarried and my blood kin has passed. I've tried to keep my head up, but I find it a constant struggle to get up to do the normal things all of us do. I tried anti depressants before when my parents passed, switched kinds quite a few times, but none help. Any advice or encouragement appreciated. Please forgive me for the negativity, but I'm at the end of my rope.

  • #2
    I'm not a mobile groomer but it's not so odd to be depressed after many negative things happen in a row and you obviously don't feel like or just don't have anyone to talk to. Maybe a counselor would help more or in addition to medication someone to listen to your side of the story. Sorry about the loss of your parents and best friend and your significant other.

    Try to re-focus your priorities and life and there's nothing to ruin a relationship faster than giving a friend or family member money.

    Comment


    • #3
      I feel for you Kelly 063....

      I hope things turn around for you. I know it's hard to find a positive in the many things that have gone wrong for you. So sorry....

      I've had depression issues myself and it can be a very lonely feeling. I am happy you reached out to us. Try the best you know how to start each day new, with new hope that things will get better. I know...easier said than done but I'm glad you were able to reopen your business. Concentrate on taking it where you want it to go.

      I know it's hard, but if you're like me, every-day things seem like insurmountable tasks. You can do it Kelly!!!!! Consider this a pep talk from someone who cares. I don't know you but I know enough to know you're a person who cares deeply about others. If you didn't, things wouldn't affect you like they do.

      Turn the music up tonight and dance the "I'm glad to be alive and have choices dance". Dance like noone is watching, even if someone is. My daughter and I have this silly Irish jig we dance. We're not Irish and I don't know what a jig is but I always come away smiling. Last night we did a performance for my husband who watched with a slight smile and then politely asked us to get out of the way of his television program. So...we called him a funsucker and danced a jig out of the room.

      Maybe you're Irish? Maybe not, who cares. Dance a jig and I know you will feel better. If dancing isn't your thing try singing. I'm extremely bad at both but I don't care...it's fun.

      You are allowed to feel bad for the rest of the day today. I hope tomorrow finds you smiling and dancing bad jigs!!!

      Have a good night Kelly.

      Comment


      • #4
        Depression

        I'm not mobile, but have gone thru depression. I live in Tx, been here about 10 yrs. Moved here from Ia due to a divorice. Tried Prozac. It made me wired, the crying spells stopped and I dropped a lot of weight, but had to get off the meds after about 3 months. If you are able at all I definately recc. a counselor or therapyist.

        I'm currently on Lexapro, it's great! I don't notice any effect, like being hyper or stoned, I just don't have that "get mad" trigger any more.

        If you want to send a private message and talk, feel free.

        astrordog

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        • #5
          Being mobile has nothing to do with it. Listen to yourself. Listen to what you have been through. I cant think of anybody that wouldnt be knocked down with all of that. Including me. You sound like a strong woman, but you need a therapist. Sometimes its good to just talk to someone. Someone that is licensed to help you sort things out and clear things up.

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          • #6
            Hi Kelly, welcome to the message boards. This is a great place to come and talk to other groomers and animal lovers. We all understand how you feel, and we are mostly all very supportive. You should make lots of friends on here. Feel free to post about all of your ups and downs and reading about all of our ups and downs should help you to feel better.
            Good luck with your business.

            Misty

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            • #7
              What makes you happy?

              Try to think of things that make you happy or give you peace. Bubbly baths, sentled candles, Orange Crush, Young Frankenstein. That movie always puts a smile on my face. :-) Re-read your favorite books, or organize old photos & remember good times. More are to come! You can't change the past, but you can make your future what you want.

              Try to eat right. Eatting processed foods can cause a downer. Try some herbal tea - you may even like it!

              Treat yourself. Treat yourself to something you like but don't always have or do. Get a message! It got grumpy hubby out of this mood. Buy your favorite magazine.

              I like to use lavender stuff. It makes me happy. What makes you happy? Are the flowers in bloom? Bring some inside.

              Music. Go through you music & start playing some of your old favorites.

              Get out & around other people. The mall, church, a park, the library, whatever. Where do you like to go?

              Revive an old hobby & join a group. Start a new hobby. What are your interests?

              Comedy good! Watch Letterman :-)!

              If you do feel that you are in a dark place, please seek professional help. It's something you need to decide for yourself. Maybe you can think about it at the park!

              Comment


              • #8
                One step at a time. Force yourself to do one small thing each day, and you will feel a little better just doing that one thing. You just need a little ray of sunshine each day to make yourself feel a teeny better than the day before. Open your blinds/curtains, let the light in. Take a walk. Adopt another puppy or pet that needs a home. They give us reason to live!!!

                I realize this is clinical depression (from what it sounds), but I really feel strongly that WORKING keeps our spirits up. It keeps your mind of YOU and onto others. So try to keep yourself busy, regardless of wether it is "work" or pulling weeds in your gardent etc. Maybe just go (tell yourself, "Just ONCE") and volunteer at a soup kitchen or something like that.

                Forget yourself and do things for others, it really does help.

                Tammy in Utah
                Groomers Helper Affiliate

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                • #9
                  I am sorry to hear all that you have been through lately. I can't say I know what you are going through but I have had my own ups and downs. But I do strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. Try believing that if you wouldn't have taken a leave from your business, maybe something bad would have happened like a bad dog attack that would have permanently put you out of grooming dogs, maybe your partner left and you are going to meet the love of your life soon. You just never know what fate-or God has in store for you. But as caring as you seem I am sure it is something great.
                  If your old friend is having such a time paying back her loan, why don't you offer to just let it go. Say I know that we have been friends for 15 yrs and I want you to know you can pay me back when you can. I won't ask you for anymore money. I know you would pay me back if you could. (Even if it is not the case) you will feel better because you are being the better friend. She will either feel grateful for the offer or she will be forever grateful for the loan you gave her and feel like you are a true friend. It is so hard loaning friends money. I don't borrow and I don't loan of friends or family.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Depression needs help

                    I know we want to help but depression is a disease like cancer. And when you have a disease you need medical help.

                    Some meds work for some people. Some meds work for others. Most take time (months) to become effective.

                    The first time for me I was prescribed Buspar. Nothing.
                    The next time Zoloft. Better. I'm not saying only drugs are the answer but sometimes it is what it takes.

                    Sometimes we have the blues. Sometimes it's much more.

                    If I were you I'd go back to your doctor & tell him/ her what's going on.

                    Feel free to pm me.
                    Erica

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Zoloft

                      Prozac had a terrible affect on me but the Doc put me on Zoloft and it has been wonderful I have taken it for 6yrs and it makes life a much happier place, plus life is so much better as I have gotten older

                      Good Luck
                      Wag'ntails

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I feel your pain

                        Hi there,
                        i'm sure if other people remember seeing my last post i'm the one who was pregnant and fiance left.

                        Well I lost the baby, and still not with fiance and am just SAD. After all that happened a string of bad things happened. At this point i can't even remember what they were my brain is so messed up. BUT i am seeing a therapist and it makes me feel so much better. He has helped me see that my anger and pain are normal and ok to feel. I just wish i wasn't so sad. I havn't gotten back on the Lexapro yet as i have to wait until my hormones are normal again.

                        i am mobile and it's hard to work in that van all day by yourself and hear songs on the radio ect. I can't tell you how many times i have cried while grooming and hoping that the owner did not come to the door or some other curious person.

                        I am feeling better with the sadness, i miss my family which was the fiance and his son and his big family. and i'm an hour away from my parents.

                        So hon chin up, and if you need to cry just do it. Talk about it. It helps. Find a therapist it really helps. I know it's hard to get up every day but you gotta do it. Those dogs need you My business is booming thank God, it keeps me going every single day. And as unprofessional as this sounds i have told my clients cuz what if i skrew up something it's not cuz i suck it's cuz i'm a mess. And they have all been so understanding. and actually have helped me so much. Please feel free to pm me if you need. As i know exactly what you are going through, except losing the parents part. But please hang in there time does heal. But it just takes a while. hope you have a great day

                        Rose

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          depression

                          It's not a good thing to be depressed but you've made the first and second step..1st, acknowledging you're depressed, 2nd you're reaching out for help by talking about it. With depression you need a good support system. As everyone has already stated find a therapist and there are A LOT of new anti depressants out there. My ex is bi polar and he was wacked out for years from bouncing from one med to another would not or would work short term and then back to his ways again. He's on a new one, and for the life me can't remember the name of it. Starts with a "C", it's one of the newer ones. He's been on it for a little over a year now and has done wonderfully on it with little side effects. So first of all you should really see a doctor and a therapist someone to talk to and most hospitals have depression support groups. They usually meet in the evenings. Call around or ask your doctor or look online under the MHMR. If you feel you can't afford a doctor and meds go through the MHMR I have my son on their program now and it has been wonderful. They can point you to support groups and some churches will also hold these groups or 12 step groups. Yes 12 step groups are for more than alchoholics! So you can go to these groups and get you a good support system going. People that have been there and done that or people going through what you're feeling and families and sometimes just people there that are willing to be help. You just really need to get out and get the help and not isolate yourself so much. Being mobile that's a big problem is the isolation and when you don't have anyone to talk to when you're down just seems to go lower. You've started making the first steps to get help now you just need to take a few more steps to recovery! Good luck!

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