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Being told I'm obsessive

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  • Being told I'm obsessive

    Help. Getting some flack from family and friends about the time I spend on work. The actual work hours are a separate issue and not involved. Where I get the heat is in my prep time for appointments and the time spent on pAperwork, record keeping, studying, and making / ordering materials.

    I believe in greeting clients knowing what had been done in the past as well as their response to it. These notes are kept in my records that I update each night when possible. Sometimes life gets in the way and it piles up so 30 minutes becomes much longer. I prep for new dogs by rereading about the breed if necessary, checking new looks online or from similar client dogs, clean or maintain equipment ( generally a couple times a week), make some barrettes or bandanas - usually once a week, write notes to new clients, condolence cards, thank you notes for gifts. And then we have this forum.

    Work is 16 miles away and can take from 25 minutes to 90 minutes travel each way.
    My dogs - geriatric Scottie now on every other day fluids and cooked diet - and the Chih are walked at least 4 times s day. I do the morning walks unless I'm housesitting. Do all evening walks and care.

    Housesitting - hitting my busy time of year. Currently out of home from 9/23 till 10/28 with back to back clients. Those dogs are also walked multiple times ( my dogs only get two nighttime walks while I h'sit).

    Host once a month dinners for friends of my 92 y.o. Mother who is not able to drive anymore. These friends help keep an eye on her during the day times and are very helpful in keeping her feeling like an involved member of ghe community. This is a way to say thank you - and I enjoy the cooking. Also groom their dogs each month to help them out. This usually fills up my Sunday's off.

    Got off track. Anyhow, people are continually telling me to slow down and 'not bring my work home ' at night. I don't see how to get everything done without devoting evening hours to these projects.

    Do the rest of you get family / friend/ co-worker flack about time spent ?
    How are you able to deflect the criticism ? It's making me feel very slow and inefficient.

  • #2
    I envy your work ethic. Good for you.

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    • #3
      Surrounded by and grew up with workaholics.
      Understand it completely.
      None lives your life but you.

      Others telling you how to do so is folly.



      UD
      Last edited by Uncle Dave; 10-04-15, 11:31 AM.

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      • #4
        Do they see something that you don't see? Do you look fatigued? Do you have circles under your eyes? Have you lost or gained noticeable weight? Is your skin breaking out? Is your temper shorter with friends and family than it used to be? Do you sound nervous when you talk to friends and family? Is most of your conversation about work? You might be boring them with animal talk
        It may be that they're genuinely concerned about you wearing yourself out. Reading what you wrote, you sound like a caretaker and a perfectionist who thrives on doing both those things. You also sound like you're hard on yourself and a maybe bit suspicious of other people, because you interpret their expression of concern as an implied criticism of your efficiency and speed. If you're happy, great. It's your life!

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        • #5
          First off kudos to you. That is extreme dedication. I have to agree with your family though. When you say family would that be husband and kids? People actually living with you affected by your workaholism? That would be my biggest question. Because if it's extended family and you enjoy what you're doing, I'd tell them to blow off.

          For me though, with exception of deep cleaning the van once a week, I try to do all work related stuff when I'm 'at work'. That means buying bows, etc. I work hard enough during work hours to not have to work after hours. Sure there are phone calls on occasion (mostly prebooked) but other than that, I try not to do anything after work.

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          • #6
            Nope you sound like you are doing a great job. Self employment often extends past a 40 hour workweek. It is one of the separating factors between employed and self-employed is realizing this especially in the early years of a business.

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            • #7
              Thanks all.
              Family means a sibling and an elderly parent. Brothers family is on the other side of the state. Sister and I share task of helping care for parent ( snow has outlived retirement benefits by many years). My retired sister has started working again, some for sanity and some for financial. She works 4 to midnight so that our mother is only alone from 3 until I can get there to make her something to eat. Usually by 6:30.
              Would do all the stuff while at work but I don't get to stop from the time I walk in until I leave. Leaving is when all dogs finished, room cleaned , schedule reviewed and printed out for the following day, and restock for the morning. If I'm physically there i am continually approached by clients - current and prospective - about their issues/ concerns or socializing.

              Doing the books and prep work at the house at least allows me to be there for geriatric safety issues.

              There was a rule amongst my teaching friends that I've transferred to my current profession. There is no work talk unless asked, and then it is limited to five minutes. If anyone broke the rule they either bought s round of drinks for the group or ponied up done cash. Same rule - After five minutes I turn the conversation to anything else. It may involve other people's pets but it is NOT a grooming discourse. s

              As for being or looking tired ----I'm 60. I always look tired. And I have never been able to suffer fools without saying something.

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              • #8
                Holy Moly woman! You're sixty and doing all this! Super Kudos to you!!!!!!

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                • #9
                  Yes, you're an obsessed workaholic. I'd come up with some jokes to deflect comments, because once people realize that they're not telling you anything you don't already know, they sometimes stop commenting.
                  It sounds like you're happy with the way you are living, but don't want to be judged as someone who is slow or inefficient. Families are big on making comments, so the fact that it's just your mother and sister making the comments ought to take some of the sting out of it. They're just doing what family members do, which is to stick their nose in to other family member's business.
                  If you're unhappy about the comments because you suspect you may actually be slow or inefficient, then there are ways to edit and streamline your activities. I spend about half an hour a week figuring out ways to systematize my work. I edited my cat house call supplies so they all fit in one small backpack. This saves time 1. loading/unloading at their home 2. loading/unloading at my home 3. cleaning 4. shopping for grooming tools and supplies. So even one change can affect the amount of time spent in many ways.

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                  • #10
                    Owning and operating a business is a 24/7 day job......I groom 4 days a week, wash towels in the evening almost every night,... on my "days off", I file away this weeks clients cards and pull for next week, make up receipts, (this takes several hours), do my iphone check deposits, fill up on supplies (shampoos, conditioners, etc), clean out the van, go to the fabric store for bandanas, answering the phone and text messages regarding changing appoint dates, times, or other pertinent info, sitting for hours getting my generator tune-up, getting my oil changed and tires rotated, going to the library for the next 2 weeks worth of murder mystery book on tape....then the remainder of time, I have to myself, care for my 7 little doggies and the upkeep of my 2.5 acres, plus try to do my 20 mile bike ride. I've reached the grand age of 66, and one of these days, I'm going to slow down a little :>) So all you groomers who are thinking about owning your own business, better be prepared to put your whole heart and sole into it 24/7.

                    Happy owning a business

                    Dolly's Barking Bubbles, LLC

                    www.dollysbarkingbubbles.com

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                    • #11
                      I think you are doing a phenomenal job of preparing, organizing , and executing all of the tasks necessary during this chapter in your Book of Life. The fact that you are still so committed to your career while so much else is on your plate is to be commended. I know of groomers less than half your age that show up, shave down as many dogs as possible in a day, go home, and do nothing to further their knowledge or career. It's really sad. Your mom is so lucky to have you and your sister taking such good care of her mind, spirit, and body. I think your critics who think of too much time being spent on your job are not understanding that it is not merely a job. It is also a passion and a career.

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                      • #12
                        As Dolly said, being a biz owner can dang sure be a 24/7 job. Sounds like Noone is being neglected, so.....just let it roll off your back..like a duck in water.
                        Ain't always easy to stand up for what is right.

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                        • #13
                          I'm a self confessed workaholic. I groom 3 days an hour away from home. 1 day for a breeder and am trying to get another business selling shamppos fragrances off the ground and also am going to be starting up a small retail shop for hand crafts on my hope to get working small holsing in the next year while I faze out the three day a week grooming job in hopes of doing 1-2 days close to home.

                          I can relate how family gets on your case about working but bills get paid...i was told to drop the breeder job but grooming the #1 Coton bitch(in the breeding pen for now til next summer) in Canada is kinda a good brag and challenge.

                          So yup I'm a work addict

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                          • #14
                            Dolly, I want to be like you when I grow up.

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                            • #15
                              Thanks again everyone. Nice to know I'm in such stellar company.
                              I'll make like a duck. And just smoke quietly the next time one of my employed fricnds tells me how much she hates her job or how afraid they are that they'll e laid off because of their age.

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