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Really hurt and disappointed!

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  • Really hurt and disappointed!

    I have a client who stays when I groom their dog. She is a 5 year old cocker spaniel who has always been very well behaved despite having their "mom" in the room. We would always chit chat and her grooming appointment would drag on longer than was necessary. We talked a lot about similarities in our dogs...I have a spaniel cross. My girl Bridget will bark at people occcasionally when we go on walks, she's protective of the yard, I have to lock her upstairs when customers come in, or else she'd bark her face off at them... Just behavioural issues that we discussed that were similar with our dogs. I have Jan Fennel's book The Dog Whisperer and lent it to her in hopes of helping her iron out the kinks with her dog. I had some success with it but Bridget is a dog that needs Cesar Milan as her master lol. In any event, me and Bridge work it out and we have a happy existence.

    I got a call Saturday from her. She told me they had to put their dog down. I was shocked. I asked what had happened to her. She said her separation anxiety wasn't getting any better and that on her walks she was aggressive towards other dogs. I said, "well why in the world did you put her down?" She said that they could not have possibly re-homed her. I just said ok....and waited to get off the phone. I was angry in a flash and didn't want to fly off the handle.

    I got off the phone finally and went back to the dog I was working on. I could not continue to groom, I started balling and thinking of this dog who I had met a handful of times who was always perfectly still for a cocker, always perfect for every aspect of the groom and from long conversations with her owner, very similar in some ways to my dog behavioural wise...

    I just wish she would have called me. I have on hand a list of rescues I could have given her a number for. Not every dog is for every person. I'm sure if they could not handle her (and in the owner's own words, "whatever was going on in that little head of hers"), another family could have suited her just fine.

    Although she did not live with me, although I only had a glimpse into that dog's life and who she was, I know in my heart, that she was not a failure as a dog! I wish things had turned out differently for her

  • #2
    I'm so sorry this happened. I had a client recently do something similar. Very picky and loving about her dog, a rescue with. Cute name and matching story. She put him down for chasing his tail. Granted, he did it a lot, but I can't imagine it was *that* annoying. I don't understand humans.
    Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on.


    • #3
      so sorry!

      some people are selfish.. nothing to do with that.. but putting a dog down for that? its inhumane..

      if thats the case then my two brats should be put down too... (like i ever would)


      • #4
        OMG! that seems so drastic for just behavioral issues If everyone had the outcome with a naughty dog our population of dogs would be cut into thirds! Im so sorry. I know how you feel .what an injustice to this poor dog. I dont beleive in putting a dog down for that kind of issue`~ if it were an agressive big dog maybe , for the saftyof other people but not a little just doesnt make


        • #5
          At first glance it does seem like a drastic solution. But it wasn't our dog, and we never lived with her. The situation may have been worse than the owner was willing to talk about.

          In any case, I wouldn't have suggested a book. I would have suggested a trainer. The dog needed to be trained by someone who understands behavioral issues.

          Oh, one last thing. It's common now days to call certain issues dogs have "seperation anxiety." Most of the time it's not. Seperation anxiety is a state of anxiety caused by the anticipation of being seperated from the primary care giver. Once the person in question leaves, the act of seperation has happened and the state of anxiety stops.

          Dogs who destroy the house when left alone are not suffering from seperation anxiety. They've just never been taught what they're expected to do when they are alone. If they don't know what to do they do whatever they want.


          • #6
            I'm sorry this has impacted you so much,However I can understand just where this woman comes from.As groomers we only seen the behavior of the grooming side,unfortunately not the full scale of the dogs personality and quirks.Some of the most wonderful to groom dogs are not so well behaved outside of this environment and others that that are horrible for grooming are perfect angels out of our sight. I once rescued a dog that was so wonderful to groom his first time ever stood like a pro and seamed to enjoy the attention and pampering, the Owner had brought the dog in to be groomed before having him put down.Basically his first and last hair cut.. I ended up keeping this dog for 3 years He was very sweet and overly loving .However he had a dark side , he turned out to be an unprovoked biter, a barker and a runner overly nippy with other dogs as well. Everyone loved this dog he was so lovable ,But knowing how he was I could never have rehomed him I had many offers from people wanting him but I could not be responsible for their injuries I knew this dog would cause them and their loved ones .Although you have lost this dog as a grooming client please understand this woman had to make a very difficult decision.There are way to dogs in shelters that are ill mannered and can never be trustworthy for rehoming . Placing a dog to a new home in hopes someone can handle the behavior or even tolerate it.Just to be passed around like an old rag is not fair to the dog and is no life for any animal .There are too many truly good dogs that need loving homes that are many times looked over by those hoping to be the savior of those less tolerant and needing special care and handling .


            • #7
              So typical, unfortunately

              Owners like this do not want to do the work of even finding a rescue, AND, possibly more importantly, they do not want to admit that someone else could do better with the dog! They prefer to feel that the dog has something wrong that NO ONE can deal with.

              No dog is safe with such jerks. Unfortunately, vets are asked ALL THE TIME to put down dogs with behavior issues, and most of them just go ahead and do it. They would be overwhelmed with unwanted dogs if they kept them all, and then there are owners who will NOT AGREE to allowing them to find a home! (Yes, I have seen this a few times!!)

              I used to work with vets who, when asked by an owner to euthanize a pet for behavioral difficulties or "because we are moving and can't take him", would say: "So - let me get this straight - you want me to KILL this pet because he is inconvenient???????" Then they would go on to offer to take the dog/cat in and work with them and rehome them. Unusual but heartwarming, for sure.


              • #8
      's hard to believe we are the intelligent life forms...

                This thread hits home. 2 of my dogs were going to be put down, but somehow fate stepped in and I ended up with them. Yes, they drive me nuts some days, but I wouldn't think of putting them down for their issues.
                Tika was at the Moncton SPCA. She was being put down for aggression issues. Her family left a history that would make anyone look away. Barking, jumping, biting and growling, a danger to people, un-adoptable was stamped on her papers based on the owners word. She was this little 15 lb dog who was so long and matted that she couldn't see, and she was in a room with all large dogs barking their heads off, and yet when someone opened her dog and reached to grab her, she would nip at them "for no reason", she was terrified. She was actually being carried into the room for her last needle when we walked in and I started talking to her and said that's the one. My husband laughed and said she was a mess. Well that is why she was the one, she needed some TLC The lady told me we couldn't take her that we would have to look at other dogs, this one was aggressive and was being put down, and was on the way to have it done right then, I told her to stop, call my vet and I would take this dog, well they laughed at me, but after hearing about the dogs I had and talking to my vet, they let us take her into a room and spend time with her. Within 10 minutes she was laying on her back getting a tummy rub and giving out kisses. The shelter staff was amazed. We filled out the paperwork and 24 hours later we went to pick her up. Yes, she is aggressive for about 1 minute when someone new comes in the house. We know that, and we hold her and explain to the person coming in that they will be fine. Just ignore her and in a few minutes she'll be on their lap. She has never hurt anyone. After the initial craziness everyone comes to love her and will pet her or bring her a treat.
                Mannyman showed up at my door because the woman who was putting him down listened to her vet. He did not want to put down a healthy 2 year old dog, so he gave her my name and address and asked her to come see me first. The reason he was going to be put down? when the door opens he runs outside to play. He is to hard to catch.
                It made me sick that she would kill a living thing for such a stupid reason, he was crated 24/7 for almost a year. He stayed with me that day and will be here until his days come to an end due to illness or age. He is also aggressive. He has bitten my husband 4 times now ( it was three times until Saturday). Not really bad bites, but lets just say if someone yells at me and the dog is near, they shouldn't point or raise their hand to me because the dog attacks. Good thing Rob and I don't fight much he always ends up bleeding after my 20 lb dog gets involved. Rob would not dare put him down. Each time he has gotten bit he has thought about how what he did came across to the dog, and he realizes that he was just trying to protect me. We are working on that, and the dogs behavior.
                I almost cried when I found out that the day after Mannyman was brought here to me, the same woman went out and got 2 dogs the next day from a pet store. I guess she thinks that if she goes through enough dogs eventually she will find her perfect match.
                Sometimes people suck. Dogs aren't disposable, you don't just throw them away when you get tired of them or they do something bad. When will some people learn this? It is a sad day indeed for the poor dogs who aren't perfect, when they go home with a person who doesn't offer back unconditional love, or won't help you to work on the issues so you can be happy and loved.
                I realize that I might hear back from some about my dogs issues, but hey, they are my dogs and I am the one that has to live with them, and we are making progress, slowly, but it's still progress. I know my dog shouldn't attack my husband, and I know he shouldn't bite, but hey, he has never bitten anyone else, one day maybe I can get Rob and the dog trained and they can live happily ever after


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Debbiedogs View Post
                  Owners like this do not want to do the work of even finding a rescue, AND, possibly more importantly, they do not want to admit that someone else could do better with the dog! They prefer to feel that the dog has something wrong that NO ONE can deal with.

                  ..., for sure.
                  First of all, you do not have the right to judge this owner, because you don't know the whole story.

                  Second of all, just because we see our dogs as members of the family does not mean that everyone else has to. There is nothing wrong with people who view their dogs or other pets as animals. They are not jerks, and sometimes their point of view is healthier than some people who think their dogs (or other pets) are little kids in dog suits. They aren't. At the end of the day they are animals. And we shouldn't judge people just because they accept that fact.

                  Amending my first point; none of us has the right to judge others. We don't like it when others judge us, so we should stop being hypocrites and stop judging everyone else just because we don't agree with their point of view.


                  • #10
                    That's awful!

                    I agree with Sarah. I don't think dogs are disposable, either. Our Lab used to bark her head off at other dogs when we were out on walks. We used Cesar Milan techniques to make the behaviour less severe. I know that I have to stop her just when she is starting to rev up and that it is my job to control her. We didn't even consider putting her down! I know it must have been a hard decision to make, but I think some people don't take having pets seriously enough. I used to live in a rural area where there were a lot of abandoned animals. People didn't like to spay/neuter their pets and would "throw away" their excess. I see nothing wrong with judging and sometimes I don't think much of the way people treat animals.

                    Sorry you had to go through this! It is hurtful!


                    • #11
                      Kated, you're missing the point. Whether we feel dogs are not disposable is not the issue. It's whether we have the right to impose our opinion on others. If someone does not have the same opinion as we do, would they be justified in trying to impose THEIR opinion on us? Of course not. That door swings both ways.

                      I also have an opinion about Cesar Milan. I will not express it here, but it is vastly different than yours. I don't try to impose that opinion on you, or anyone else, either. And no, I'm not interested in starting yet another dust up, so don't ask.

                      There are many good, moral people in the world who don't see dogs as being anything other than animals. And they have the right to see it that way. We are all different. And none of us has the right to judge anyone simply because they have a different point of view.


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by CutiePiesBySarah View Post
                        Not every dog is for every person. I'm sure if they could not handle her (and in the owner's own words, "whatever was going on in that little head of hers"), another family could have suited her just fine.
                        Not necessarily.

                        Thirty-odd years ago I put a dog down for issues with separation anxiety. She had to have someone with her 24/7 or she went completely berserk. Not just whining and barking and fussing. Berserk. And she would not settle down. Ever.

                        If left alone she would instantly become frantic and stay that way for hours. She sounded as if she were being beaten to death. She would scream at the top of her lungs, throw herself hysterically at the door or window, pee, poop, run back and forth in it and fingerpaint it everywhere and not stop until hours later she would finally drop from complete exhaustion.

                        How do I know this? We actually tried hiring babysitters for her, but no luck on changing the pattern. She wanted her Mommy and Daddy there. Nobody else would do. The whole household turned around that dog's loose screws for years.

                        For seven years we battled her demons for her then, I made the decision to put her down. We were in a situation where for a while we were going to be moving from a house with a yard into an apartment and I knew what would happen if we took her with us. Because of her reaction to being left with "babysitters", I could not in good conscience foist her off on an unsuspecting party who did not know what they were getting themselves into. And, if they could not handle the situation I could no longer handle, what would they do with her? Pass her along to someone else who also could not deal with the issues this dog had? How many hands would she go through and what ultimately would become of her?

                        I didn't want to take that chance.

                        I loved that dog to pieces and I felt horrible over doing what I felt I had to do, but I did it. And for decades that dog regularly woke me up in the middle of the night and kept me awake - but I know I made the right decision in doing what I did.

                        I am with the posters who have stated you shouldn't judge without knowing all the facts.


                        • #13

                          Well, you are right that I may not know the whole story but I DO know - in detail - about many owners that sound like this and have put their dogs to sleep for reasons that I mentioned, mostly their own egos and laziness.

                          I believe that we DO have a right to judge and assess. That's what our brains are supposed to do. I do NOT judge so harshly all who don't think the way I think, but to kill an animal without giving it a chance is unnecessary. There are animal lovers out there who WOULD likely give that animal a chance. I guess I have seen too many wacko people to sit back and say, "Oh, good thing they thought that dog was disposable and killed it".

                          But I DO see where you are coming from. If it works for you, that's great. That attitude doesn't work for me in such a case.


                          • #14
                            that's sad..

                            but i understand..some dogs have issues..koda is a nice dog that everyone loves and adores 99% of the time..1% of the time something in his brain 'clicks' and he goes insane and will attack you me, or anything near him he feels needs to die.
                            We have been to trainers, there is something mentally wrong with my dog..He was almost put down several times when we went to visit vets to figure out what is wrong with him..And he goes in wiggling his butt like there is no tommorrow, he seems like the happiest dog in the world. There are about 8 people that know of his issues, and i have tried to tell other people about it but they don't believe me...
                            there maybe something worse happening that you don't see..
                            though some people DO put their dogs down for stupid reasons, and/or they create monsters and have to destroy them because they are dangerous. And it's very sad..So i agree with helly...


                            • #15
                              What bothers me is that people put dogs down for some issues that can be corrected. There are plenty of dogs out there with behavioral problems that are caused by something physical...usually thyroid problems. People don't consult their vet first, or the vets don't know about it.


                              We have a dog that was returned to us because of behavioral issues. He's on extremely low dose thyroid meds now and he's just fine, no more incidents at all. He's been back with us over 2 years now.