Would like opinions please....OT

[SharPeiMom]

As some of you know I lost my Shar Pei this week to cancer so it hasn't been too good of a week for me. On top of that one of my clients called the same day my girl passed and told me that she has a friend who has been breeding Peis for years and needs help. Apparently the lady is in her 80's and was going to assisted living when she found out the female was pegnant. She had an ultrasound done and has 2 pups and said if I wanted them she'd give them to me but I had to take both. I didn't want to after all my girl just passed that morn. MY DH didn't want me to say no just in case I changed my mind by the time the pups were available. Anyway on that very night the lady had a stroke and is in the hospital so now it's an emergency as to what to do with the pregnant dog. I guess her niece and nephew are here from up north to help her but they want nothing to do with this dog. My DH wants me to go and get her, which I might do but I still don't really want anymore dogs right now. I called a friend of mine who breeds, shows and rescues Peis and she said she'd take them so I'm probably going to pick up the dog until I can get it to her. I think my DH is a little upset because he thinks I'm closing the door on taking at least one of the pups. Honestly I just can't think of taking on a puppy right now. I have 3 other dogs who really need my attention because I have been spending most of my attention for months on my sick girl. Not to mention I'm the caregiver to the dogs. My DH does help in playtime and walking and such but I do the most in their daily care. I do love them but I need some time to get myself back together. Not to mention I've always believed that nothing in this life is free and I'm leary as heck to take a free dog. When I'm ready for another I want to pick the one that I want from great bloodlines with the least amount of health problems. I don't know anything about this dog. I've paid dearly in the past for not choosing carefully. Wouldn't you rather pay for a pup that is in great health than to take a chance on one that you know nothing about? I guess I could ask the rescuer to evalute the bitch and tell me what she thinks. Am I wrong for not wanting another dog so soon? After all it's not like I can't ever get another Pei if I don't take these. I will have to say that dealing with this this week has helped to take my mind off my own sadness. Any opinions would be welcome. Thanks.

[4Sibes]

First off, let me say I am sorry about Maggie, Robin. It's been a tough year on you, huh?

As far as the dilemma...as an adult, I, personally have allowed my heart to guide those decisions over the past 20 years, because I know they will also be based in common sense and practicality.

Would I take on the pregnant bitch right now? Prolly not if there were an equal or greater (in terms of care) option available.

I think a waiting period before you delve into another dog...is perfectly understandable, and I feel like if you have your goal set on a pup from reliable, sound and health tested lines....that's perfectly fine too.

The chemistry in your house has undergone a major change...I think that needs to be acknowledged, and see where the cards fall w/ regard to that as well.

The people that care about you in your life...understandably want to see you "heal" quickly from Maggie's loss, and I think it may be part of human nature to think that the inclusion of something like a pregnant bitch and birth, as opposed to loss, will help facilitate that healing...

However....there are going to be long term effects on all things critter and human if the dog were to come into your lives as an impulse,...as opposed to a well thought through decision.

You've always struck me as a very grounded person, so I would hope you would go w/ your gut and your heart on this.....no matter what decision you make, I'm sure it will be the right one.

[Makere]

everything 4sibes said is right, and its not wrong to want another dog. You get so used to having them around and being able to rely on that comfort that it does throw you off when you suddenly have to do without. The only thing i can say about puppies is that you will know when you see them, your heart will tell you exactly what to do. I was upset for months when our cat had gotten out of the house, presumably dead. I didnt want anymore for a long time i thought until i saw my edgar and i knew he was going to be part of my family.

[SwissNChow]

If you are not sure about this, then you should not be taking in another dog right now, especially one that is pregnant and due to deliver.

You have things lined up for a place for this pregnant dog to go, so that is exactly what should happen. Since the foster home is a friend of yours, I'd bet she would be happy for you to adopt one of the puppies when they are ready to go if you are ready and that's what you want, but there also is no reason you should feel pressured to take one of those. If your real desire is to have a top notch Shar Pei from outstanding bloodlines that are health tested, that is what you need to do. I think you are right in your opinion that "free" dogs are often very expensive in the long run, especially in a breed like Shar Peis.

Just because you have a client that has a friend with a dog that needs help doesn't mean that the help has to be that you keep the dog. Getting them set up with rescue willing to help is fantastic and solves the problem.

I think the DH is probably trying to help you grieve and he doesn't know how to make you feel better. He may also be thinking a free pup is way cheaper than a puppy from a good breeder, but with that, you just need to remind him of the potential medical issues in Shar Peis and help him remember what that can really cost.

[SharPeiMom]

I thank you all for your kind and generous responses. I guess I didn't feel very confident in my thinking right now. I think my grief is open but I'm thinking that DH may have his own way of grieving by thinking getting another pup so soon might relieve the grief. He feels very guilty because he feels that if he had of given the ok on Monday that our sweet Maggie wouldn't have had that terrible night. He had no way of knowing and neither did I. But none the less he feels guilt and I know this has been really hard on him. I told him I wouldn't totally close the door on accepting one of the pups but we just need some time for our little family to adjust. The other dogs seem a little confused right now so I really want to focus on getting everyone settled down. Trying to spend quality time with everyone right now. Thanks so much for your kind words. It means the world.

[wet noze]

How are you Robin? Sending a big hug. Anything to update us on? How is it going?