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Am I making the right decision? Please help

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  • Am I making the right decision? Please help

    I made an appointment on Monday to have my beautiful golden Teddy put down on Friday (tomorrow). He turned 13 today.

    He fell down the hardwood stairs three weeks ago and again this past Monday. He has not been able to go up the stairs without help for about 5 months. I carry the back end, he does the front. He cannot stand up on bare floors, only rugs. He cannot walk farther than 2 blocks on a good day. He cannot play ball anymore. He has separation anxiety, and barks when I leave the room.

    Although he is still eating (but not much) he is totally skinny and boney, no muscle left at all. Last Friday was the clincher for me, we only went a short way on the walk, but he stopped about 6 times and looked at me with pain in his eyes. I patted him and got him going again, but he kept stopping, and looking at me.

    I love him so much, i can't imagine my house without him. I guess I need someone to tell me I am doing the right thing, that he may still have some good days but they will be fewer and fewer and putting him out of his pain is better than hanging on.

  • #2
    My families pets have always let us know, for my dog Daisy it was when she didn't want to go on a car ride. For my cat Snapdragon it was when he didn't beg for bologna any more. I don't know your dog or you but generally they let you know and if you already made the appointment then Teddy probably did just that. I still miss my stinky old hound dog even though she has been gone for years and I don't think I will ever eat a bologna and cheese sandwich without thinking of my kitty. I know we did the right thing for them and that they are in a better place and out of pain. My prayers are with you and Teddy.


    • #3
      I feel you pain and have been there. The only advice I can give is "you know when it's time".....good luck to you and Teddy (((hugs)))
      Mandy, Birdie, Evie, Willie and The Woo
      Check out my Blog at


      • #4
        I think you already know the answer in your heart, and you are just trying to convince your head that you are going to be doing the right thing. By what you are saying I think your best friend is trying to tell you what he wants. Please ask yourself is he enjoying life anymore? Is he having fun? or is he just exsisting? I know I may get slack for saying what I am saying, but you asked for opinions so I am giving mine. In my personal opinion and mine alone I wouldn't want to remember all the pain my beloved friend was going through, I want to remember all the good times. This is my favorite poem and would like to share it and maybe make you feel better about your decision. My heart goes out to you, this is not easy!!!

        Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.

        Do not break my spirit with a stick, for although I should lick your hand between blows, your patience and understanding will quickly teach me the things you would have me learn.

        Speak to me often, for your voice is the world’s sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footsteps falls upon my waiting ear.

        Please take me inside when it is cold and wet, for I am a domesticated animal, no longer accustomed to bitter elements. I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth. Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst.

        Feed me clean food that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.

        And, my friend, when I am very old, and I no longer enjoy good health, hearing and sight, do not make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having any fun. Please see that my trusting life is taken gently. I shall leave this earth knowing with the last breath I draw that my fate was always safest in your hands.

        Author Unknown


        • #5
          All Dogs Go To Heaven. Here is a hug. (((Flying Fur)))
          "We are all ignorant--we merely have different areas of specialization."~Anonymous
          People, PLEASE..It's ONLY a website!~Me


          • #6
            I am so sorry you are having to make this decision. It is possibly one of the hardest and worst choices that we ever have to make in life. I agree w/dgpaw that your heart already know the answer to your question. You are simply needing what is normal validation from others who totally understand what you are going through.

            If today is the day, remind yourself when you take Teddy to the vet's that he doesn't know what is going to happen. There is no sense of dread or fear for him. He will just go to sleep peacefully. I found that this thought eased me a little when I had to take my sweet old Harley girl in 3 yrs ago.

            My thoughts are with you and your Teddy today.
            SheilaB from SC


            • #7
              Dang Lisa...that was a tough one for me to read . But so true...Lisa is right. I feel the heaviness in my heart for you as I just went through this on Monday with 2 of my old dogs. Keep the appointment. What's worse is that I was ready to let my male go, he was almost 15 and had been senile and having accidents for a while, but I had a hard time wrapping my head around letting my 13 yo female go...she got a cancerous growth in her mouth-I noticed it about 5 months ago, and in the last few weeks, it literally sucked the lifes blood right out of her . She just skyrocketed downhill, and I couldn't let her suffer anymore. Sorry you are going through this.


              • #8
                I am truly sorry for your pain. I could'nt say it any better than what dgpaw said. Just know your not alone, so many of us on this board have gone through this or "are" going through this. I just did a month ago. There is'nt much anyone can say, it just plain sucks. I'm glad I did it when I did, believe me, I wanted to just hang onto her, but could'nt put through anymore pain just for me. My thoughts are with you.


                • #9
                  I know your pain. I am going through it myself with our cocker. I really think she is at the point of just existing, but since she is my husbands dog I really need him to see the decision and make it and it's getting very hard. I don't think she is in pain, but I don't think she is enjoying her life anymore either. I see my Border Collie Lady making a decline. I found her pooping in the house yesterday. She hasn't done that since I first found her. Her back legs are giving out on her at times and I have to carry her up the back steps sometimes. She still has more good days than bad at this point, but I can see that she is towards the end of her life and I can't imagine my life without her. It seems she has always been with me. I wish I could be there to give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on. This is such a hard time for anyone who loves a pet. It's hard to know for sure from just a brief description, but from what you have said it sounds like he is hurting and havig more bad days than good. The questions my vet usually asks is
                  Are they still wanting to be part of the family?
                  Do they separate themselves from people and any other pets?
                  Are they eating and drinking normally?
                  I always ask my vet to give me their opinion. I know many do not feel right saying one way or the other, but I point blank will ask them "if this was your beloved dog, what would you do?" and most have given me a straight answer.
                  I wish I could be more help. Know that we all feel your pain and wish we could ease it somehow.
                  What a caterpillar considers the end of his world, we call a butterfly.


                  • #10
                    So sorry for your pain,and your beloved Teddy's. I found the decision agonizing too.,as my girl was having some good days with the bad ,but when her caranasial tooth cracked, there weren't many good days left. I talked to the techs,made the appt. and when I got there I paid for the euthanasia up front,but let them know if her Dr. and I could figure out a way to help her,that I may be taking her home. After checking out her tooth,and other medical problems,and her vet and I having a heart to heart, I knew I had made the right decision. If you have not been through a pet euthansia,at least we can reassure you that it is so peaceful and humane,and you can stay with your pet ,and be comforted by knowing you and your love are there right to the end. I stayed in the comfortable room at my vet's holding my girl until I felt strong enough to bring her home and lay her to rest.
                    "Everyone needs something to beleive in..I beleive I need another Poodle"


                    • #11
                      This just makes me cry. I can barely take it. I've never had to put a pet to sleep. I can only imagine what it would be like. I've only had my poodle and he's never been in the best of health. He needs to have a polyp removed and he's full of lumps, takes thyroid medicine and has a reflux so I always worry about him. My heart goes out to you FF. I know you'll do what's best for Teddy. We are all thinking of you. dgpaw's poem really chocked me up. I'm a softie.


                      • #12
                        God be with you and your precious Teddy today. Never regret giving him peace. It is the one thing we can do that is the final act of selfless love to repay all the unconditional love our pets have given us. It is a struggle to make the decision, but it does seem like Teddy is ready to go from the description you have given us. Take your time to honor his life and treasure his memories.


                        • #13
                          By the time you read this, it will probably be all over. Never question that you did the right thing, because I think you did, and deep in your heart, you know this to be true.

                          Whenever I've lost one of my pets I plant something in their memory; a smoke bush in memory of the last cat I owned, several dogwoods, all for one dog or another, a beautiful red poppy for my first pony, iris, peonies, rose bushes...they all were planted in memory of someone. I find it helps take the ache away when I can look at them and remember.

                          I'm so sorry for your loss. I know your heart is aching. But as long as we hold them in our memories, they never really leave us.


                          • #14
                            I am so sorry for all you are going through. It's never an easy decision. Hugs and Love.

                            Helly, your post was simply beautiful and I am going to try planting something special in the future.


                            • #15
                              Tthe Dog Door

                              There is a dog door in St Peter's Gate
                              Dogs who go to Heaven just don't have to wait
                              In thru the door they may pass
                              No line, no wait, it's just that fast.

                              In the Kingdom of Heaven there is a saying
                              You're in Hell if you don't hear dogs baying
                              They bark and howl at the smallest cloud,
                              Barking all you want is just allowed.

                              If you ever fret at what you left below
                              A dog's furry paw lets you know.
                              You aren't alone and you are loved
                              Not only from below, but also above

                              For who put the dog door in St Peter's Gate?
                              So the dogs who go to Heaven don't have to wait?
                              By the Lord Himself, whose wisdom knew
                              That dogs can cure what He cannot do.

                              A Bamper

                              I know it is hard when we leave our hearts behind the doors at the vets office but you know well that he was telling you what you needed to know. It is the one mercy we can give our pets we do not allow ourselves to have. After watching my Dad die of cancer I truly feel that dogs have a better choice as we can help them over the Bridge. I know your heart is hurting but he is with you always. I wrote The Dog Door series many years ago for friends who had lost pets. Several in the series have been writen specifically for their dogs. On ewas even written for a child. I hope it helps