Need advice (long, sorry)

[imashowdog]

Okay, I wasn't sure where to post this, but I need help. I've been working at this place for 2 years and I have put up with a few problems because the boss has become a friend and confidante to me. One of the most recent problems has been that she is overscheduling me. I don't want to work 12 hour days, and I just can't do an endless number of dogs. I've made my limitations quite clear, repeatedly, and I have started to become fed up with having to stay late because I have been overbooked again, or having to argue with her over taking a walk in when I don't have time. I have been working on my speed because I know that I could be faster, but at the same time, I can't handle working so late all the time. Anyways, that has what has led up to the incident that occured today.
I was having a great day, and moving pretty quickly. I was in a wonderful mood, having fun at work, and wasn't expecting any problems. When I came out of the bathing room, someone was coming with a walk in. They had called on the phone wanting a bath and brush, and were told to come in. I went back into the bathing room with another dog and went about my business. Then a coworker came in and asked me if I was doing that dog. I said no, why? Well apparently, after I went into the bathing room the people mentioned possibly wanting a haircut. My boss then volunteered me to do it, despite the fact that I had my limit for the day. Well, I came out of the bathing room, and sure enough, my initial was next to the dog's name on the sign in board. Calmly, but with some irritation, which I think is understandable, I told my boss I wasn't doing that dog, I don't have time today, she is aware of my "quota" and I'm sorry. Then my boss absolutely FLIPPED OUT. Yelling and screaming at me. She switched the subject from me making demands to me not willing to groom certain dogs (she is referring to a 20 year old 5 lb poodle who is mean and has become dangerous to groom, for fear of seriously injuring him), to me taking a break at the end of the day forcing her assistant to stay later. I told her the reason I was doing that was because I wasn't taking a break during the day so that I could get dogs done in a more timely manner. Then she insisted that I take an hour lunch, and refused to back off. I was grooming a toy poodle at the time who has seizures when he stresses out. And I didn't have time for a 1 hour lunch, not with my schedule full, and I had a Westie with seperation anxiety next on my table, and the owner tries to get the dog out early, etc etc, basically, a 1 hour lunch wasn't feasable. But she was yelling and swearing, so I took a 10 minute break, trying to chill out, and then came back, but when I came back, she wouldn't allow me to restart work. As soon as the customer there left, she started yelling and swearing again, and I walked into the back yard, once again trying to cool off. Then she storms into the back yard, telling me her assistant just cut a dog's foot because "I'm stressing him out" So I walk back into my station, she's still nagging, and I packed up all my things, told her "I'm out, I'm done" and she began making truly nasty comments about what sexual acts I could do with all my spare time, I won't go into details. So I left, but I'm so confused, need to know what I can do, what I should do. I've been loyal, I've put up with her **** for a long time, I've watched every other groomer who worked there quit, and I've stuck around. She's helped me, she's been a really good friend to me, but then she starts making me a scapegoat, and being a tyrant and disrespecting me. I just need some sort of validation about this whole thing, I feel like a victim.

Sherry

[RightlookPets]

Rude Boss

Don't worry too much about it. There are PLENTY of jobs out there for good groomers and you can pick and choose who you want to work with.

Next time, my advice would be not to befriend the boss. Be pleasant and friendly, but keep a firm boundary. I think that will work out better in the long run.

[Arrooh]

I love my own business

Phew, that kind of stuff is horrible. You were a victim but you sort of allowed it for too long. When you said, say for instance you'd only groom 6 dogs you had to mean 6 dogs, way back when overbooking started. You need breaks etc. Your clue also would have been that the other people quit. Your loyalty was abused, and you can be glad to get away. This was not a friend, this person used friendship. It might hurt a bit, but you're the winner. Find a job that appreciates your true caring about the animals (as showed with you not taking lunch with special needs dogs in your care). Good luck and stand strong and confident as you find a new hopefully great position.

[rapuzzled]

Wow, what a bad situation. If it helps any I think that you did the right thing. I just could not work for someone like that! What a stressful environment. She acted completely innopropriate for someone in her position. She is your boss, yes, but absolutely no one should be treated like that. I hope that you can find a new job! Good luck with everything, and keep us updated!

[RevWind]

Yeah, I agree with everyone. You were abused by your employer and someone who shows no respect for their employees deserves no loyalty. Befriending a boss is something that should be cautioned. They may have good intentions at first, but when they start pulling their managerial weight, they have a tendency to really flip their switch. Be glad you're not in that situation anymore. You can be just as happy, if not much happier grooming great pets for someone who doesn't abuse you. Good luck!

[SiotehCat]

She was obviously wrong. She was obviously abusive. And in the end, she was obviously unprofessional. You dont NEED her, you are already a groomer whether you do two dogs a day or twenty. If you could not do one more dog without staying late, that should have been up to you. She should have asked. She COULD have asked, but your time wasnt of importance to her. You dont want to work for a person like that. If she should ask you back, you need to put your foot down with these things. You have the right to make certain requests, and thats something that you should never forget.

[Poodlefluff]

Well look at the bright side, you made a lot of extra money being overbooked so now you can afford a mini vacation. Do yourself a favor and treat your self to a day at a spa. Get a massage, nails done, facial. Then use that day to make a plan. Your could open your own grooming business. You can do what ever feels right. If you decide to go work at another shop, make your preferences known ask if you can try the job out for a week to see if it is a good fit. Good luck~

[c.c.]

It sounds like you left a poorly run establishment -- too late.

When I have a 'situation' with someone, I like to file it in the "Thanking the A**holes" folder....this is how it works:

Every person you encounter has something to teach you. The good ones are easy to recognize and appreciate, but sometimes the bad ones teach you the most. From this situation you learned how NOT to behave when you manage other people, how difficult and uncomfortable (and dangerous) it is to be overbooked. Also, your 'little voice' probably warned you that this person was going to be trouble and maybe you didn't want to listen, next time you will. You learned that it doesn't suit you to invest your valuable time in this negative environment. You might have learned that this person uses friendship to control people, very deceiptful.

I would be looking at all the things I learned from this situation. Then I'd "Thank the A**hole" (THIS IS DONE PRIVATELY--IN YOU HEAD--NOT IN PERSON!!!!). Then just let it go, it's amazing how much better you feel. I like to remind 'God' or 'the universe' or whomever you like, that I really learned those lessons, so PLEASE don't send another person like that into my life!!!

You can stew and fret and feel hurt and betrayed and angry and in time you'll get over it. Or you can look at all you can learn from people, the good ones and the bad ones, accept the lessons and then move on, you'll be much happier. Sorry that happened to you, be stronger and better because of it.

[furrybestjob]

c.c...that was absolutely brilliant! I tried that statement with memories in the past, and wow, it really does make one feel good.

[Peaster]

First of all a big hug to you. I know how difficult it can be to have someone blow up in your face like that. What the others have said is true you do not need to be in a place like that. I wish you all the best in finding a great new beginning in a more healthy enviroment.

[Helly]

You are so much better off to be away from that person. She was not your friend, no matter how warmly you might have felt about her on your side. She didn't view you as a friend. She didn't view you as a valuable employee, either. If you'd stayed, she would have continued to use you until you were nothing but a used up, dry husk. At that point, if you didn't quit, she would have fired you and looked for fresh meat to chew on.

Like c.c. said, she's a fine example of how not to treat an employee. She's a fine example of a poor manager. Use that example in the future; this is NOT how I want people to view me.

Take a day or two to go out and grab some air. You need to clear your head. Then decide what direction you want to go from here, make a plan, and go forward.

[HoundLover]

Don't worry too much about it. There are PLENTY of jobs out there for good groomers and you can pick and choose who you want to work with.

Next time, my advice would be not to befriend the boss. Be pleasant and friendly, but keep a firm boundary. I think that will work out better in the long run.

yes dont befriend the boss...i learned that the hard way myself...hah...yeah sure ill train you to become a groomer...took me totally by surprise i got fired. by email. yep real nice boss there.
Hound

[misscatahoula]

I"ve been in your shoes, and I know what a slap in the face it can be. I learned the hard way that befriending your boss can turn out badly. I worked alot of extra hours but never asked for or got overtime ( I wanted to be helpful). I took on alot of extra duties but didn't mind at the time( because we got along so great). In the end, the work environment got tense, the friendship died, and I had no job. What I learned? Don't let the lines between work & friendship get blurry. Get paid for your work and don't be afraid to set boundaries. I hope you find a nicer boss next time. The one you had was only nice when it siuted her needs. Good luck to you.

[Fur Elite]

She sounds like a certifiable lunatic to me. Such a person will never recognize how out of touch with reality they are, so no use trying to point it out. Give thanks daily you are out of that toxic atmosphere. I validate your take on this and believe you did the right thing. I probably would not have been as diplomatic as you. My congratulations. I would probably send her a Get Well Soon card wishing her a successful recovery. Let her wonder what it is for, you will know.

[Maggy]

CC, that is how I have learned to look at things, too! At the time its easy to feel angry, hurt, screwed over, etc. but later you will thank them for it because it works out for YOU in the long run! I've encountered a few of those in this past year!