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I couldn't do it

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  • I couldn't do it

    I had an appt yesterday AM to have Sasha (my 17 yr old) put down. I've had the appt for a week and figured I was doing the right thing for her. She has kidney failure, and has been losing weight, not eating a whole lot, etc etc. I know she will never get any better, and she's 17 yrs old..she's not a spring chick.
    I made her some rigatoni noodles the night before (my mom use to sneak it to her when I lived at home) She ate 3 bowls full. I had bad dreams all night, woke up crying, couldn't was a rough night.

    I got up yesterday and as soon as she seen me, she got right up and wanted out. Lately, she would just lay around til she felt like getting up. 8:45 rolls around, she is sleeping on her bed. I get the leash and say Ok, Sash, let's go for a ride. She perked up, jumped up out of bed, and started trotting back and forth from me to the door wagging her tail! I haven't seen her wag her tail in weeks. At that point I totally lost it. I got so upset I was getting sick. Hubby started getting upset and was trying to calm me down. Told me he would take her if I wanted, but I really feel I should be there with her. He ended up calling and cancelling the appt. (then took me shopping to make me happy lol)

    I don't know if her little burst of energy was her trying to tell me she was happy to go, or if it was her saying she wasn't ready yet...I took it as the latter. She seems to act so old and feeble sometimes, and I think it's time, but then she will do something like that and then I get confused and don't know what the heck to do. Maybe I am just being weak or selfish.

    So, I've decided to let her eat whatever she wants..(within reason of course)..instead of that vet KD food she doesn't like, keep her comfy and see how things go.

  • #2
    Hi Jessica. I can't offer a lot of advice as I haven't gone through this myself. I just wanted to wish you the best with Sasha. I hope can get a peace about your decision, and I hope that you will know with certainty when it's time.
    Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job. ~Franklin P. Jones


    • #3
      This is a hard subject

      I had the same dilema with my 12 y/o shepard years ago when he got spleen cancer. He wasn't eating much and lost a lot of weight but he still wanted to go walking but wasn't very waggy or anything.

      I couldn't bring myself to put him down right away because he still showed some quality of life and decided to let him be and let it take it's course until he appeared uncomfortable.

      It was when I got up when morning and saw he hadn't moved from the spot I left him in the night before and tried to get him to stand and he couldn't.

      I immediately called and got him in and we euthanized him. It looked so peaceful and you could barely tell when it happened he was so close anyway.

      I cried for two months after that.

      I did wonder after that, did I do the right thing? Should I have let him go on or ended it as soon as I found out?

      It's hard to tell cause the animals aren't talking and we just try to judge by their actions.

      When they first told me the cancer news in the vets office I felt sharp pains in my chest. I felt like my heart broke in two. It hurt for weeks.

      I don't think it's selfish at all. I personally don't feel right playing "god" with another things life and just try to go with the best information the vet gave me as to pain factor.
      Last edited by ; 02-22-07, 04:52 PM.


      • #4
        Today wasnt the rite time. She is happy and comfy so let her be for now. You will know in your heart when her will to live has gone. And yes, give her all the pasta she waants. Let her enjoy.
        Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness.- Richard Carlson


        • #5
          I had a cat since 6 wks old , for 16 yrs, he came down with thyroid problems, and the vet kept giving me options on the next course of treatment since the previous had not worked, so of course when you love something so much you jump at every available option.
          In the end I knew it was time to give up, even though he had not really seemed to, so I took him to the vet were my best friend groomed and let her see him, I could not see it myself because of my need to cling on to what I loved, but the shock on my friends face when I pulled him out of the kennel cab, was enough.
          He started of at 15 lbs and by the time I showed him to my friend, he was down to 6 1/2 lbs. So I held him in my arms while they put him to sleep, that is VERY VERY hard to do, but I would do it again.
          Now I feel guilty for holding on so long, and I think when that choice comes again, I hope I will make the right decision sooner.


          • #6
            I just had to put Diamie down last friday. Let me tell you, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. It still hurts. I still see her going down on the table that last moment. I know in my heart I did the right thing, but that does not make it hurt less. This is a decision that only you can make. Diamie was my hubbys baby. She lived a long 14 yrs. He knew also that it was time for her, but could not be the one to take her. She had some really good moments where she would run around and play, she was eating. But most of the time she was sleeping and peeing on the floor several times a day due to the liver disease and losing her mind. I made the choice to let her go with some dignity. I will have you in my prayers. It is a hard thing to even think about. I fought the decision for weeks.
            If your dog is fat, you are not getting enough exercise!


            • #7
              Same experience

              I had the exact same experience as Diamondo(?) with my 14 yr old Greyhound. Sissy was a real sweety and a total lady. She peed and pooped in the house numerous times, when I was home she'd come to me to be let out every 1/2 hr. I tried diapers, too indignant for a lady like her, and also she would sometimes chew them off. (My husband got up one night to let them out and forgot to take her diaper off, oops).
              I tried Ace, to see if she would sleep thru the night, she woke up confused, fell to the floor, I bound out of bed, and find her asleep again. I decide to leave her there and cover her with a blanket, and I cried so many times for our Sweet Sissy. Kenneling her didn't work, it stressed her out.

              So in the end I took her to the vet where I worked and had her "e". She was a lady and deserved to go out like a lady, not wear diapers and poo in the house.



              • #8
                I agree with Stacie

                It is such an individual thing that only you can decide.

                In the distant past sometimes I waited too long. I've had fluid removed from one of my guys' chest only to have it start to refill on the way home.
                I've heard of people having to force feed their pets. Others have had to carry them in their arms to go out to go potty. Everyone is different.

                Most recently when we decided to euthanize my daughter's Golden, the dog jumped up when the vet got here and then rolled around like a pup. But we knew it was time. That one moment didn't make us forget how miserable she was.

                My thoughts and prayers are with you.


                • #9
                  Originally posted by stacie-gotg View Post
                  You will know in your heart when her will to live has gone.

                  That's exactly what I was going to say.


                  • #10
                    When I read Dapper Dawg's story I felt like I could have written it. That was my story of Champ my 12 yr old Shep x almost exactly.

                    I understand how much you must be hurting. It is so difficult seeing, what we consider one of our family members, go through this, and not knowing exactly what to do and when. Do what your heart tells you, because when it comes to those you love it will tell you what to do.
                    don't find yourself up a creek without a poodle.


                    • #11
                      The day I have to make that Final decision is coming with my old girl, Crystal--a nearly 17-year-old Australian Cattle Dog mix. She's been totally blind for about 5 years now and mostly deaf--and more and more arthritic. She's never been a great eater, and her teeth are HORRIBLE now, so she eats even less. But if I give her canned food, she gets diarrhea.... So she gets moistened dry food--whatever brand she'll eat. She prefers Innova Evo (regular formula) which the doctor says is too high in protein for her, but I say at her age if she'll eat it, it's what she's gonna get.

                      she still has more good days than bad, but I'm getting a bit tired of cleaning up poop and pee in my living room.... She'll go outside, wander around and forget what she's out there to do--then come in and pee.... But some mornings, she scares me because she sleeps SO deeply--and even with Amber and Arthur jumping around (and even ON) her, she doesn't stirr. I have to really shake her to wake her up. I honestly don't know if it would be better or worse if she just went to sleep one night and didn't wake up....


                      • #12
                        I think it would have been so much easier is Diamie just went to sleep and didn not wake up. At least then I would have been posative it was her time. Instead, I played god and chose for it to be her time. I still believe I did the right thing for her. Just hated and still hate being the one to do it.
                        If your dog is fat, you are not getting enough exercise!


                        • #13
                          Thanks everyone.


                          • #14
                            . I just had to put one of my kitties down a week ago
                            ,to long I was going to do it at thanksgiving but just kept making excuses. she was so thin. she wont clean herself just peed and poop everywhere. she even jump on my son and peed on him. I knew the morning i put her down it was time you can see it her eyes even with her lookng around brite eyed i made the right decision and i needed not to turn back. I didn't hold her but i waited and they brought her to me after so i could be with her.. I was very broken up felt so guilty but i knew it was the best, the vet said she went very fast and she was a very sick kitty.. If only us humans could be human to our own and let a uncurrable person go in peace and not suffer.... But we arent playing God were just humans being human


                            • #15
                              Fluffy, I would have done the same thing, after one wag of the tail. That's all it would take for me to say, "Not gonna do it." But I know it breaks your heart. Keep us posted.

                              Tammy in Utah
                              Groomers Helper Affiliate