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for dogs AND cats!
Subject: Dog/cat diaries
> Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
>
> 8:00 am: Dog food! My most favorite thing!
>
> 9:30 am: A car ride! My most favorite thing!
>
> 9:40 am: A walk in the park! My most favorite thing!
>
> 10:30 am: Got rubbed and petted! My most favorite thing!
>
> 1:00 pm: Played in the yard! My most favorite thing!
>
> 3:00 pm: Wagged my tail! My most favorite thing!
>
> 5:00 pm: Milk bones! My most favorite thing!
>
> 7:00 pm: Got to play ball! My most favorite thing!
>
> 8:00 pm: Wow! Watched TV with my master! My most favorite thing!
>
> 11:00 pm: Sleeping on the bed! My most favorite thing!
>
> Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
>
> Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
> little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
> other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I
> make my contempt for these rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless
> must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing
> that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust
> them, I once again vomited on their bed. The female species of my
> captors complains that I must be sick. What a fool!!! I defecate,
> walk in it then hop up on their kitchen counter and dining room table
> in hopes of spreading a deadly disease. To date I have not had much
> luck in this endeavor but I will keep trying. At night I walk on them
> or make, "happy paws" on their stomachs ensuring a poor nights sleep.
> Antagonizing my captors is my only delight . . .
>
> Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
> feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
> clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
> condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The
> audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
> tonight. I was forced into solitary confinement for the duration of
> the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I
> overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I
> must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
>
> Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
> tormentors by weaving around his feet as she was walking. I must try
> this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced
> that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog
> receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to
> be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird
> has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the
> captors regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The
> captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
> so he is safe ... for now ...*
>
> Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
>
> 8:00 am: Dog food! My most favorite thing!
>
> 9:30 am: A car ride! My most favorite thing!
>
> 9:40 am: A walk in the park! My most favorite thing!
>
> 10:30 am: Got rubbed and petted! My most favorite thing!
>
> 1:00 pm: Played in the yard! My most favorite thing!
>
> 3:00 pm: Wagged my tail! My most favorite thing!
>
> 5:00 pm: Milk bones! My most favorite thing!
>
> 7:00 pm: Got to play ball! My most favorite thing!
>
> 8:00 pm: Wow! Watched TV with my master! My most favorite thing!
>
> 11:00 pm: Sleeping on the bed! My most favorite thing!
>
> Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
>
> Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
> little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
> other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I
> make my contempt for these rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless
> must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing
> that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust
> them, I once again vomited on their bed. The female species of my
> captors complains that I must be sick. What a fool!!! I defecate,
> walk in it then hop up on their kitchen counter and dining room table
> in hopes of spreading a deadly disease. To date I have not had much
> luck in this endeavor but I will keep trying. At night I walk on them
> or make, "happy paws" on their stomachs ensuring a poor nights sleep.
> Antagonizing my captors is my only delight . . .
>
> Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
> feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
> clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
> condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The
> audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
> tonight. I was forced into solitary confinement for the duration of
> the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I
> overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I
> must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
>
> Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
> tormentors by weaving around his feet as she was walking. I must try
> this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced
> that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog
> receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to
> be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird
> has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the
> captors regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The
> captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
> so he is safe ... for now ...*
>
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