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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    1,923

    Offended Did you ever have a customer going I guess senile or ???

    It is getting really strange and she lives alone. I don't know other family. I showed up and she said I had just been there. It's been a month. She said her schedule said it was not due yet. I gave her a list of dates for the year. She was happy with that. She seemed OK, looked OK but really confused maybe. I could see her dog she needs groomed somewhat grown out. I said Ok see you and pointed to the date on the list in another 4 weeks.

    OK now what. If that doesn't go well I guess we will take it from there. She needs help but who do you call? Can you see me trying to explain this to someone in authority? What do you do?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    4,565

    Default

    You can call Adult Protective Services, but I'd do a background search first and see if she has any family or who is listed with her. If she is not being cared for or looks unkempt then call APS. You should have one in your area.

    Sometimes, however, it doesn't matter to the family and you have to let it go. I have a lovely, and I mean lovely customer whose husband died a few years back of Alzheimer's. And now she has Macular Degeneration. Her family doesn't give one whit about helping her with the dog.. so her neighbors and I have to be very creative to get the dog groomed. They (she and her husband) had the dog groomed every 2 months and now it goes 4-5 months. Last time I lied and came up with "a customer moved out of area and had paid for 2 grooms and said to pass them on, would she like one?" Oh yes!! I may lie again and say "A customer gifted me 2 grooms for Christmas.. would she like one?" She has a house cleaner and her groceries get taken care of. Someone comes to pick her up for church on Sun. I feel like snagging the dog and grooming it while she's gone. She has asked me to find a home for the dog... but then her family said no. I didn't say anything either way.. but I wanted to say.. "WELL THEN HELP WITH GROOMING FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!"

    I also say you may have to let it go, because this happened with my mother in law. She got Alzheimer's and my father in law was nothing but a b*****d about everything. My mil was so wonderful and adorable and kept herself so beautiful. She stopped doing her hair, her nails, stopped showering. I would go down and she'd fight me and ask him if she needed a bath and he'd say no. I wanted to bop him good. 3 months she went without a bath or shower. Every day I'd try. Finally I threatened to call APS if he didn't start helping me. Her clothes.. omg, they were just ratty stuff. He, on the other hand would buy himself new clothes, but I'd have to beg him and he'd say to me.."I'll think about it" which in psychobabble is.. "Nope, not gonna happen." One caregiver, that again, I threatened to call APS, because she'd never take my mil to the bathroom, so she ruined the couch and stole her clothes and basically did nothing. My mil had no shoes, only old dress shoes. It was a constant battle. Finally he started taking her once a week to get her nails and hair done. I have so many stories of his neglect to her. Thankfully as she progressed she became cooperative with me. But just be prepared.. some families hate for others to be involved.

    OH and one other thing.. UTI's can cause forgetfulness and dementia like symptoms in the elderly... and crankiness. So it could be something like that if she has normally been with it. It's such a sore spot with me. The elderly are so fragile and I feel need to cared for the best possible way. We had the meanest stepmummy dearest growing up and when she got Alzheimer's.. .she was mean, but my sisters and I treated her like she was a gem. I didn't want any regrets and I don't have any!
    Debbie
    There's always room for another rose in the garden.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    883

    Default

    All that Daesue says. I know BengalCatGuy has a relative going through this, I have too. It is THE MOST FRUSTRATING to experience. No pills, no shots, no nothing corrects it. This is so unpredictable until a family member or guardian gets involved. OMG what I hate is the feeling that one day she is forced into protective care and what happens to the dogs. I don't know. Fortunately I have always seen families come to the rescue. Sometimes elderly people at this stage are so brave but vulnerable they don't even listen to their children until authorities intervene. Hoping for the best.

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