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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    51

    Default fun grooming poems

    Hi

    Im looking for funny poems to frame and put on the wall of my grooming room

    Any ideas or suggestions please


    Reb

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Central Maryland
    Posts
    6,606

    Animated Eyebrows I made ya one.

    It's called "Fibs".


    Fibs.

    You say you brushed your dog last night,
    not a tangle to be found.
    Then the winds picked up this morning.
    and blew his hair around?

    So here we have this matt with eyes,
    that you beg me to undo,
    You've not been in for 6 months,
    we both agree THAT'S true.

    I promised to "restore" him,
    he'll be as good as new,
    He's shaved with-in the hour,
    and there's my fib for you.

    Is that what you had in mind...or a bit much?
    Often it's not what you say, but how you say it.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    959

    Default

    A young girl named Polly McDoodle
    Decided to trim up her Poodle
    With Clippers and Shears
    With Curses and Tears;
    She cut off the whole kit and kaboodle

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    5,059

    Default Funny, 4Sibes!

    As usual, that is a great laugh!! Thanks!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    51

    Default poems

    lol wicked keep em coming

    Im not in the slightest bit good with poems

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    3,305

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 4Sibes View Post
    It's called "Fibs".


    Fibs.

    You say you brushed your dog last night,
    not a tangle to be found.
    Then the winds picked up this morning.
    and blew his hair around?

    So here we have this matt with eyes,
    that you beg me to undo,
    You've not been in for 6 months,
    we both agree THAT'S true.

    I promised to "restore" him,
    he'll be as good as new,
    He's shaved with-in the hour,
    and there's my fib for you.

    Is that what you had in mind...or a bit much?
    Ha ha ha!!! That was GREAT.. such talent and here you are grooming dogs.

    Debbie

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    2,003

    Default

    Someone posted one a couple of years ago, I think it was DDD, but it went something like this:

    If you like your doggie fluffy,
    With fur that's long and soft,
    Then keep him brushed and combed at home,
    or I will shave it off.

    Hee, hee! I think about that poem everytime I have a tangled mess handed to me and the owner says "Try to keep him fluffy! You know I like him with long hair!"

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    ontario canada
    Posts
    782

    Default I am no poet but had fun

    So you have a dog who’s name is Muffy
    You’d like him long and to keep him fluffy.

    What a good mom to brush everyday,
    To bad it wasn’t on Muffy, I have to say.

    You say she’s nice and she doesn’t bite,
    But you have three fingers, is this just over sight.?

    Are you telling me the truth or is this a fable
    That darling Muffy doesn’t pee on the table?

    I guess the moisture that entered my shoe,
    Wasn’t made by Muffy, but by Mr. Magoo.

    I will do my best, to do as you ask,
    But please keep in mind you’re a pain in my a$$.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    West Michigan
    Posts
    117

    Default

    My dog got matted in the rain
    My dog got matted on a plane
    My dog got matted in my car,
    The ride to the groomer is pretty far.

    You see I brush him every day
    From head to tail, he feels okay
    In fact his coat seems fine to me
    So what's with this de-matting fee?

    You say its cheaper to shave him down
    And for him its safer all around
    But I don't like fifi looking like a clown
    He gets embarrassed when he's shaved down

    I don't care if it hurts or not!
    I want him de-matted on the spot!
    I'll hold my breath and put up a fight
    Until you do what I think is right

    You may be a groomer but I know more than you
    I'm going home to give him a shampoo
    That will make him good as new
    And save me $60.00too.

    Okay wouldst wanna post this on a wall but I had to get in on the poem thing lol.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    1,177

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Iheartshelties View Post
    My dog got matted in the rain
    My dog got matted on a plane
    My dog got matted in my car,
    The ride to the groomer is pretty far.

    You see I brush him every day
    From head to tail, he feels okay
    In fact his coat seems fine to me
    So what's with this de-matting fee?

    You say its cheaper to shave him down
    And for him its safer all around
    But I don't like fifi looking like a clown
    He gets embarrassed when he's shaved down

    I don't care if it hurts or not!
    I want him de-matted on the spot!
    I'll hold my breath and put up a fight
    Until you do what I think is right

    You may be a groomer but I know more than you
    I'm going home to give him a shampoo
    That will make him good as new
    And save me $60.00too.

    Okay wouldst wanna post this on a wall but I had to get in on the poem thing lol.
    Pretty good Dr. Suess, lol

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Northern NV
    Posts
    2,630

    Default

    Not original, but the old classic is always good for a laugh


    Hello....... Grooming Shop! I have this dear dog thats as sweet as can be as soon as you see her I know you'll agree

    If it is alright, I will be in about eight
    If I'm not there at nine, it means I'll be late.

    Sweetie doesn't bite often, she knows it's not nice
    just nips little children, and me once or twice.

    She doesn't like cages, can't stand other pets
    and if she's upset, she just simply wets.

    You may bathe her fur, but don't let it soak in
    I prefer that the water does not touch her skin

    She has a bad back and can't sit or stand
    so have her lay down while you empty her glands.

    She's allergic to powders and dips make her sneeze
    so please use the tweezers to pick out her fleas.

    She loathes being brushed and watch how you clip
    she has ten thousand matts, but I don't want a strip

    There's a few more instructions, so here is a list
    ignore that huge lump, it is only a cyst.

    Leave her back long to hide her bad hip
    a french moustache to cover the wart on her lip

    She laid down in something thats black and quite gummy
    but she always gets cold, so don't shave her tummy.

    Poodle feet, poodle tail, of course, thats the style
    Don't clip her nails, please use a file.

    A very high top knot perfectly round
    so what if there's little hair to be found.

    I'm sure with your talent, if you just use your noodle
    you can make my chihuahua look just like a poodle.

    There's a few other things you really should know
    she wants some perfume and a polka dot bow.

    I'll be there to get her, I can't say just when
    but just in case, have her ready by ten

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Inland Empire
    Posts
    3,146

    Default This should ensure you never get another Cocker client, ever.

    There once was a dog from Nantucket,
    Who could $h!t enough to fill a bucket.
    They called it a cocker,
    and didn't know how to stop 'er,
    So they just gave up and said, "F**k it."
    There are 3 different kinds of people in this world: Dog people, cat people, and rational people who don't have a problem liking two things at the same time.

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